Walter Reed doctor reports that experimental treatment is “Totally, probably not at all related” to hairy animal ear growing out of Trump’s forehead.

 

One of the doctors who recently treated Donald Trump for Covid-19 denies any connection to the therapy he was given and a massive, hairy ear seen growing out the the president’s forehead. Trump received doses of an experimental antibody cocktail made by Regeneron, a company best known for having a name that makes it sound like they should be making batteries for Telsas or some such shit.

The ear went unnoticed in media reports of Trump’s condition until sharp-eyed Twitter user @mfer69hahagetit69 tweeted “Dude, that motherfucker has a motherfucking ear growing out of his motherfucking forehead” in response to a photo of Trump standing the White House balcony after returning from Walter Reed Hospital. Upon learning of the ear, Rachel Maddow of MSNBC said “Holy fuckachino – how did I miss that? I guess I was so distracted by watching that irresponsible jackass take off his facemask that I didn’t look at his forehead at all. That ear is fucking ginormous.”

Dr Anthony Kaelin, part of the team that treated Trump while he was at Walter Reed earlier this week said via telephone “Yeah, that ear thing . . .  um, we didn’t do that. I think we didn’t. I hope not. “ When asked about the ethics of using experimental treatments such as the Regeneron cocktail, Kaelin said “You know, we usually figure there will be the usual side effects like dry mouth, hair loss, suicidal ideations, shitting the bed. Not a fucking ear.”

The ear was described as “possibly bovine” and appeared to be articulated “like that extra headlight in that movie about that car with that guy in it.”

When asked if the ear might help in fighting Covid-19, Kaelin said “I don’t see how an extra ear matters since Trump hasn’t listened to a goddamned thing any reputable doc has said about the disease yet.” At press time, Kaelin was self-prescribing massive doses of sedatives.