One of the doctors who recently treated Donald Trump for
Covid-19 denies any connection to the therapy he was given and a massive, hairy
ear seen growing out the the president’s forehead. Trump received doses of an
experimental antibody cocktail made by Regeneron, a company best known for having
a name that makes it sound like they should be making batteries for Telsas or
some such shit.
The ear went unnoticed in media reports of Trump’s condition
until sharp-eyed Twitter user @mfer69hahagetit69 tweeted “Dude, that
motherfucker has a motherfucking ear growing out of his motherfucking forehead”
in response to a photo of Trump standing the White House balcony after
returning from Walter Reed Hospital. Upon learning of the ear, Rachel Maddow of
MSNBC said “Holy fuckachino – how did I miss that? I guess I was so distracted
by watching that irresponsible jackass take off his facemask that I didn’t look
at his forehead at all. That ear is fucking ginormous.”
Dr Anthony Kaelin, part of the team that treated Trump while
he was at Walter Reed earlier this week said via telephone “Yeah, that ear
thing . . . um, we didn’t do that. I
think we didn’t. I hope not. “ When asked about the ethics of using
experimental treatments such as the Regeneron cocktail, Kaelin said “You know,
we usually figure there will be the usual side effects like dry mouth, hair
loss, suicidal ideations, shitting the bed. Not a fucking ear.”
The ear was described as “possibly bovine” and appeared to
be articulated “like that extra headlight in that movie about that car with
that guy in it.”
When asked if the ear might help in fighting Covid-19,
Kaelin said “I don’t see how an extra ear matters since Trump hasn’t listened
to a goddamned thing any reputable doc has said about the disease yet.” At
press time, Kaelin was self-prescribing massive doses of sedatives.
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