LARGE-THUMBED DUTCH ABDUCTEE SPOTTED WITH BP EXEC

A Dutch boy who disappeared from Amsterdam shortly after winning the title of “Largest Thumbs in the Netherlands” has been seen on the gulf coast of Alabama. Glen Gremillion, owner of “Glen's Dive Shop” in Mobile reported that the boy came into his store yesterday, accompanied by a man later identified in surveillance video as Oliver Powell, a Senior Vice-President for Special Projects with British Petroleum. Gremillion said that the boy was outfitted with a scuba suit and “enough oxygen tanks to dive to the ocean floor.” “I thought it was kind of weird that the kid kept whispering to me in German every time his dad turned his back,” Gremillion said. He contacted authorities after seeing the boy's picture on a news report later that evening. A spokesman for BP would not comment on whether Powell's presence in the area was related to last month's explosion of a BP oil drilling rig or the resulting spill and added that “no reference to Hans Christian Andersen should be inferred.”