Hoping to again buoy his
teammates who rallied around him after he suffered a devastating
injury in the regional final game, Louisville guard Kevin Ware broke
his other leg during the national championship game. The sophomore
stood by the Cardinal bench, pushed himself off his crutches and
landed on his left leg in the same awkward manner that resulted in a
compound fracture to his right leg last week. “Guys! Look! It's my
tibia!” he shouted to teammates. “Now go out and win the game!”
The Cardinals reacted strongly. Peyton Siva expressed his admiration,
Luke Hancock expressed his shock and Gorgui Dieng expressed his
dinner. “That's one tough kid,” said Louisville coach Rick
Pitino. “Not entirely right in the head, but tough.”
Monday, April 8, 2013
Belfast Traffic Report
The IRA will be honoring the memory of Margaret Thatcher today with a 21 car-bomb salute. Expect delays.
Monday, April 1, 2013
RADIATION RISK FROM ATOMIC CLOCKS “MINIMAL” SAYS AEC
Hoping to calm public concerns, The
Atomic Energy Commission has released a statement saying that the
risk of exposure to radioactive materials from aging atomic clocks is
“Minimal.” Spokesperson Ryan Shiverdecker said that the agency
has fielded several calls from concerned citizens with the popular
and highly accurate timepieces on their mantels, walls and desks.
“The warranties on many of these clocks expire on April 1st,
so people were understandably worried that if that the small amount
of plutonium-238 that powers them were to leak, it would pose a
health risk,” Shiverdecker said. “Even if such a leak were to
occur, the risk would be very small, akin to drying one's genitalia
in a microwave oven in most instances.” The Commision recommends
that if you wake up on April 1st with a pool of green
liquid around your clock or all of your pets are mysteriously dead
and glowing, that you carefully place the clock in a large baggie,
seal it with duct tape and check with your local department of waste
removal. Or just hit the snooze button.
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