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Banksy for sale

Banksy for sale. $1.4 Million OBO. Will trade for Picasso, Duchamp. Caravaggio, Bob Ross, or similar.

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OFFICIAL LETTER FROM DONALD TRUMP'S DENTIST

To Whom It May Concern:

I have had the honor and privilege of serving as Donald J. Trump dentist for over 30 years. Mr. Trump's teeth are my master and I am but a humble servant. I bow down before them, roll onto my back in a submissive posture and hope they will scratch my belly.

Mr. Trump has the most teeth I've ever seen in a patient in my nearly 372 years of practicing dentistry. He has never lost a tooth. He still has all of his wisdom teeth. He has all of my wisdom teeth. His baby teeth are stored in a special pouch under his tongue.

The teeth of Mr. Trump are like those of a shark, if the shark had brushed and flossed regularly and had gotten corrective orthodontic care from an early age. Mr. Trump however never needed such orthodontics however, since his teeth have always been straight enough to calibrate a surveyor’s level.

When I first saw Mr. Trump's teeth, I wept uncontrollably at their pristine beauty. I have photographs of them that I keep in my wallet. When people ask to see pictures of my children, I show them Trump's teeth because I wish that my children, who are losers, had grown up half as perfect as those teeth.

Mr. Trump's gums are as strong as Chris Hemsworth's triceps. He flosses with the guy wire from a radio antenna.

Mr. Trump could bite the head off a man in the middle of 5^th Avenue without losing any voters. Even the man who's head was bitten off would still vote for Trump. Trump would swallow the head whole, MAGA hat and all.

All of the above statements are as true as true can be and I stake my life, my reputation and my dentistry degree from Trump University on their veracity.

Sincerely,

Dr. Teeth, DVM

OSCAR UNVEILS HARVEY WEINSTEIN LIFETIME DEPRAVEMENT AWARD

The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences will be presenting a new award at tonight's ceremony. According to Academy spokesperson Rebecca Bolenbaugh The Harvey Weinstein Lifetime Depravement Award will be given to an “individual who has exemplified depraved behavior throughout their career in film.” Bolenbaugh said “From the earliest days of film making, the motion picture industry has been a home to many profoundly depraved people, and in far too many cases, those depravements were never properly recognized, much less prosecuted. With the Harvey Weinstein Lifetime Depravement Award, the Academy hopes to draw attention to the most depraved people in our industry.” Bolenbaugh refused to offer any insight into who would go home with the Golden Casting Couch, saying only that the nominees were too numerous to list. The “Weinnie” will also break new ground for Oscar in that rather than the traditional acceptance speech, the presenter will stuff the statuette into the winner's mouth and secure it with gaffer's tape.