FLORIDA GOP MOVES UP PRIMARY TO YESTERDAY

In a move that analysts are calling unprecedented, brash and the dumbest thing we've ever heard of, the state of Florida has voted to move their primary up to yesterday. Florida had already moved their primary ahead to January 31^st, only to be outdone by South Carolina who moved their primary date ahead to January 21^st. Lenny Curry, Florida GOP Chairman, said “The only way we could figure out to keep South Carolina from jumping ahead of us again was to have already done had the damn thing.” The change was not well received by the Republican National Committee who will hold their convention in Tampa. The RNC announced that Florida would lose half of its seats at the convention and the hotel for the Florida delegation would be “a Red Roof Inn in suburban San Juan.”