BILL KILLS IN COMMITTEE

An unassuming bill proved to have quite the sense of humor in a Senate committee meeting today, killing one senator and leaving several more in stitches. "Appropriations bills are typically pretty dry, all-business types," said Senator Rob Collett (D-CO). "But this one was a total crack-up." After being introduced by committee chairman Darrell Ruthenburg (D-VA) the bill opened with some prop comedy using the reliable arrow-through-the-head gag, producing chuckles and snorts from committee members. When the bill began doing impersonations of city parking ordinances, Congressman Dan Bailey (R-KY) said "This bill is killing me, I dying over here," moments before collapsing onto the floor. EMTs were unable to revive the fallen lawmaker and a rider to contain the bill was shot down when the bill responded "Rider? I don't even know her!"The bill later told reporters, "I've known so many bills that died in committee, I figured it was me or them."