116 YEAR OLD AMELIA EARHART FLIES MALAYSIA FLIGHT 370 TO SAFETY

Malaysia Air Flight 370, missing for over seven weeks, was piloted to safe landing in Beijing the famed lost aviator Amelia Earhart early this morning. Mechanical problems forced the Boeing 787 off-course and it made an emergency landing on a tiny island in the Indian Ocean when pilot Zaharie Ahmad Shah spotted a remarkably spry 116 year-old woman frantically waving her arms. Earhart scavenged parts from her custom Lockhead Electra 10C to repair the Boeing, while her navigator Fred Noonan entertained the passengers and crew with coconut milk cocktails and grilled mahi-mahi. They then took off with Earhart at the controls telling Shah and his crew “I got this. Y'all can just chill.” Upon landing in Beijing, Shah announced that the flight was 1224 behind schedule and that Malaysian Air personal would be at the gate to assist any travelers whose final destination was not Beijing. Earhart and Noonan then continued on, destined for Oakland, California, intending to finally complete their planned circumnavigation of the globe. 

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