Protesters who have spent nearly two months occupying a Paducah, KY strip mall have inadvertently placed themselves at the head of the line for spectacular holiday savings at nearby retailers. Organizer Russ Wozniak said of choosing the Pine Dale Shopping Mall for the protest, “We don't really have a financial district or corporate headquarters or anything in Paducah so we came here 'cause they got a Bank of America ATM.” Coincidentally, the Occupy Paducah tent city sits squarely in front of several major retailers offering deep discounts for holiday shoppers. Wozniak, a recent college graduate who has nearly $40,000 in student loans and has been unable to find work, is positioned to receive a second Kindle Touch 3G free from Best Buy, with the purchase of two or more at the regular price while supplies last.
Confusion swept the strip mall late last nights when there was a mix-up in signage between retailers and protesters. A roar went up from expectant shoppers when a sign in a K-Mart appeared to read “99% OFF SELECTED ITEMS,” before a protester moved away from the store's window. Protesters were seen with placards reading “Banks got Bailed Out, We got Sold Games! DVDs!” and “Wall Street can suck my final discount taken at the register.” Officials report that order was quickly restored without incident, although police in riot gear remain on standby.
Opinions in the shopping center were mixed. Shopper Brian Slawson said “I totally respect their right to free speech and to peaceably assemble but we also have to consider things like public safety and no rain checks.” Others, such as Missy Barton were less sympathetic. “If those patchouli-smoking ingrates get to Bed, Bath and Beyond before I do, I might personally hire that fat cop from UC Davis to pepperspray the lot of them.” Army Sgt. Kevin Steinert, who served two tours of duty in Afghanistan said “I'd love to hit up some of those deals if I had a fuckin' job.”
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