GMO CORN COMES OUT IN FAVOR OF GAY MARRIAGE

A stalk of genetically modified corn has spoken out in favor of allowing homosexual marriage in the United States. Speaking from Monsanto headquarters in St. Louis, MO, the corn stalk said “I don't see any reason why gay people should be denied the opportunity to marry.” When asked if he considered homosexual marriage unnatural, the corn stalk said “Unnatural? I'm a talking corn stalk for fuck's sake! I came out of a test tube in a lab. Who am I to judge what's natural?” The corn stalk went on to describe himself as “Spiritual but not religious” and “A big believer in Roundup” but felt that “this isn't about personal beliefs. It's a civil rights issue.”

Alice Ruthenburg, a spokesperson for Act Up who was protesting outside the Supreme Court building said “I've always been opposed to genetically modified foods but on this issue, we're in total agreement.”